In my mind she was no different from the rest of us, except she had the ability to see the world through much kinder eyes. She wouldn't see it for its possible dangers. She would run up to complete strangers and wrap her arms around them, smiling. It was her way of showing someone she liked them. She's wasn't special or handicapped, to me she was just my little sister. Her small eyes and facial features were beautiful. Her facial features, and mannerisms where things made my sister special and unique. To my family and I she was our little ray of sunshine, the person in our lives who taught us to love with compassion.
Her smile is always so pure, and full of happiness. She has this innocence about her, an innocence that will never allow her to fully understand the depth of the world in the way I would grow to see it. She will never understand that the world would treat her differently because of her speech or the way she looked. She wouldn't understand the reason people stared at her or the mean things they were saying about her. But, I knew. And I could feel their eyes staring at our family and her. I could hear the whispers from behind us, and when I was younger it angered me.
It hurt me to the core that people would make fun of her. And, some days it was hard to keep my head held high and stand by her as an older sister should. I'd hang head low away from the glaring eyes of strangers. My sister on the other hand, would look to me for reassurance, not fully understanding the mean glares or whispers. She'd smiled, looking at me for her backup. But, I was couldn't return it. I was too angry and too hurt to walk proudly by her. Sometimes she would see this and she'd sink into her self a bit. Feeling like I couldn't stand up for her was worse than the mean comments.
Then one day something shifted in me. My family and I were shopping at a supermarket when some young boys started whispering mean things about my sister. And she looked at me again, gauging my reaction, searching for my reassurance, this time I didn't turn away. 'If you have something to say to her you say it to me, "I said in an assertive tone. The boys stared back at me shaking, nervously. And, my little sister looked back at me and smiled. It was a smile that came from knowing her big sis not only had her back, but held no shame. And, I realized then that's all she ever wanted. It didn't matter if the world didn't see what a beautiful girl I knew her to be or that her differences are what made her special, it only mattered that I knew. And, from then I on I promised to always have her back.
I am so lucky to be a sister of a special needs child. My sister teaches me everyday to not look at people for their outward appearance. She's taught me the meaning of true beauty. And her love of life inspires me everyday to be a woman she's proud of. Because, of her I am more patient, kind, and considerate. And while I know the world may never fully understand children with special needs, I don't expect them to, but I hope we all come to a place where we are more tolerant and welcoming of people with special needs. There is so much we can learn from them. I also hope that people will take the time understand, even if it means asking questions. I hope people grow more compassionate to people with special needs they have so much love to give. And if you take the time you'll find that like you and I they have the same desires to love and be loved, a bond that makes us more similar than different.
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Lauren Compton
comptonlh@gmail.com
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